Finally, a chance to write about this special phase in my life. Today, my son is four days old. I am also on my fourth day of recovery. Today was my first time to change my son’s diaper, my first time to carry him in my arms, my first time to try and make him burp and place him in his bassinet. I believe that I am quickly recovering from my operation. It was by far the most painful thing that I had to go through, yet the most joyful. Every time I recall the entire process of labor – operation – recovery, I feel overflowing joy. I feel a deep deep sense of fulfillment and gratitude whenever I breastfeed my baby. A mix of pain and gratitude with every tormenting step that I take. A mix of wonder and happiness with every development that my baby and I are making. I sit here, beside my son, in the quiet afternoon and I swim in the blissfulness of this joyous phase. I remember a line from a simple song, “This is my idea of heaven” for indeed this is a kind of heaven. This is indeed what I was looking for. I thought I was wrong in wanting this so bad but I am thankful, I was not. How life opens so many opportunities, so many options– always be brave to pick one.