Lost

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At times, I feel scared of course. Like tonight, my husband is not here with me and will not be spending the night with me. I feel very very tired but I have trouble sleeping especially when I’m anxious. I think about all the tasks that I will be postponing or leaving behind. I cannot imagine being on a vacation that is not “official” or one that does not fall under christmas or summer. I think about my students’ grades, the papers I need to check and my students. I think about how we won’t be able to hold our regular workshops, consultations, games, q & a and lectures. I wonder how I’ll be able to face my tasks when Elessar is finally here. I do get scared and I wish my husband is with me so I’ll stop worrying about things and just cling to his arm. I cling to his arm in the middle of the night or in the middle of the day when I feel a surge of fear coming. 

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